The Middle Years: The Consequences
What consequences are appropriate for the middle years? When it comes to consequences for kids, I know that some of the typical ones felt like punishment for me as a parent! The emotional roller coaster of the middle years was also accompanied by the hard task of establishing appropriate consequences. Restricting all television meant you had to give up the half hour of dinner prep calm. Taking my kids driver’s license away for a while meant I had to rearrange my schedule to drive her places. I tried to find creative solutions that either directly tied in with the problem or took away something the child valued. There might need to be different consequences for each child. If you are looking for a list of consequences, this blog post won’t give you one. Each child is a unique individual and it takes time and conversation to figure out what works for your child. This is the hard and necessary work of parenting. Digging to the heart of the issue will also help you get creative about the consequences because you will begin to understand what behaviors need to change. If you look back at the blog post about the put…
The Middle Years: Calming the Chaos
Have you ever wanted to get off the middle school roller coaster of life, either as a parent or a child? Parenting middle schoolers isn’t for the faint of heart! The middle years are a roller coaster of emotions for both the kids and the parents. Recently a friend asked for parenting advice for these volatile days with her tween. I’ll share advice in a 3 part series, but you can get started today with these nine tips for calming the chaos in the middle years. If you are new here, I describe the stages of childhood as the younger years, the middle years, and the launching years. I also try to keep each blog post as a short read and vary my topics often. This month will be focused on the middle years. Tips for calming the chaos in the middle years: Teach your kids the “why” behind the rules. How does this rule protect them? Allow your kids to discuss/ask for exceptions but teach them to respect your final authority. Point them to one or two acceptable people they can talk to if they feel they cannot talk to you (close family friend, youth leader, mentor, relative, etc.).…
Memorizing Scripture
What was the last Bible verse you memorized? Memorizing anything can seem tedious and even though memorizing scripture is the most important thing you could memorize, it can seem the most difficult. This blog post is a guest post about memorizing scripture from my oldest daughter, Jessica. She is the best memorizer I know. Let’s look at why memorization important and get some practical tips to get into this spiritual discipline. The first reason to memorize scripture is because God says to do so. In Deuteronomy 11:18, God tells His children to “lay up these words of mine in your heart and in your soul, and you shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontlets between our eyes.” Since 2 Timothy 3 tells us that “all scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness,” we can assume that God’s command to put His word in our heart and soul is for all of scripture and to all of His children. Also, memorizing scripture helps us to avoid sin as is stated in Psalm 119:11. It helps us to know what is wrong by…
Get Up, Get Dressed, and Make Your Bed
Does your morning routine involve getting dressed and making your bed? Get up, get dressed, and make your bed. Starting your day with a little bit of productivity will boost your sense of accomplishment and give you momentum for whatever is next on your to do list. It doesn’t mean I don’t occasionally spend half my day on my computer in my pj’s writing a course or creating a slide deck for my summer tutoring. Or that I judge people who take sick days and binge-watch tv in bed. But in general, getting up and getting dressed is a good way to start your day. While I’m giving advice, let me suggest you also make your bed. It will look nice and you will feel accomplished. That little bit of productivity will carry over to your next task. It’s just about putting a little care and thought into your day. It’s setting the expectations for your day. It’s wanting to look good for your spouse or to set a good example for your kids. A little mascara and a little lip color go a long way. I’ve gotten lazy. It’s time to step up my game again. It’s time to…
Book Review: Wurmbrand
What book have you read that was life changing? Hopefully your first answer was the Bible. In addition to God’s Word, there have been a handful of books that have impacted my thinking and actions. WURMBRAND Tortured for Christ the Complete Story was one of those books. A friend gave me the book and movie as a Christmas gift. 376 pages will have you staying up at night wanting to know what happens. The movie Tortured for Christ is graphic and a shorter way to get the gist, but not nearly as rich with details as the book. Apparently, the story has been around for years in several different books and sermons, but this is the complete story based on the words of Richard and Sabrina Wurmbrand themselves. It tells the life story of the Wurmbrands who were imprisoned for their faith in Communist Romania post-WWII yet never gave up on their faith in God or in their desire to help others. Could the same be said of us? Would we be brave enough? Strong enough? Would we have memorized enough scripture should our Bibles be taken away? Could we survive mental and physical torture for years on end and…
Extreme Paddleboarding
Have you ever had an adventure that went from a lazy river to an extreme sport? A few years ago, I went on what was supposed to be a leisurely 10-mile stand-up paddleboarding trip down the James River in Lynchburg, Virginia with my best friend who had always talked about how fun paddleboarding was. She and her husband had taken this trip numerous times and knew where to start and where to park the car at the end. Earlier that morning we briefly looked at the little boat launch and stairs at a secret fishing spot in the middle of nowhere where we would exit the river. We hopped back in the car and headed to the launching spot where her husband was dropping us off. When we got our gear out, she and her husband remarked at how high the river seemed to be after the recent rains. Boards, paddles, inflatable life vests, cellphone pouch (me), and camelbacks were ready. We were ready for a few hours of paddling down the river and catching up on life. With 7 kids and 115 miles between us, time alone together was rare. We sat on our boards to start and after…
Cultivate Gratitude
How do you cultivate gratitude for God’s blessings? Cultivating gratitude should be a regular occurrence for you, not just a November activity. Read through Psalm 103. Pay attention to all the ways David expresses his thankfulness to God. Consider writing your own Psalm of thanksgiving and gratitude. You can mirror David’s psalm if you want. This might make a good activity for your household as you recount God’s goodness to your family. God is good all the time! All the time, God is good! Both gratitude and ingratitude reveal the state of our hearts. Gratitude is not a natural tendency. We have to cultivate it. We can begin by listing the things we are thankful for. We are commanded to thank God for his blessings in all circumstances. When we grumble, we are telling the world that we do not think God is good ALL the time. When we are grateful, we show that we know He is good and His will is perfect. Above all, the most important thing we have to be thankful for is our salvation that came at the cost of Christ’s life of the cross. Do you know Christ as your Lord and Savior? Do…
Let Your Light Shine
Who do your good works glorify – God or man? “Let your light shine” is a familiar quote that got me thinking. I am always asking my students to give evidence of their answers. In reading, I want them to go back to the text and give me evidence for their thinking. When they are answering a critical thinking question, I want evidence to see from where their thinking stems. I want to be able to follow their line of thinking, whether or not I agree with their answers. This got me thinking more about my own life. Does my life give evidence of my faith in God alone? Can people follow my path of thinking when they look at how I come up with solutions to life’s problems? Do they know that I live for an audience of One and pray to God for wisdom in the big and small things of my life? I’ve had people ask me questions about how I can be so peaceful in the midst of a life storm or detours. Honestly, it’s not about me. I rest in the knowledge that God alone holds the universe together. I can have peace and joy…
15 Parenting Books
Ever wish you had a quick list of helpful books for raising a child? Here are 15 parenting books! This list is not comprehensive nor will you agree 100% with every chapter in each book, however, it’s like a recipe. You take the basic ideas and tailor them to your family’s needs or what’s in the pantry that day. I find it much easier to modify a recipe than to make one up, wouldn’t you agree? No book list should ever replace solid Biblical truth. The best parents are those who understand that solid parenting skills come from the unchanging truth of God. They also reach out to like-minded others who are just a few steps ahead of them. A friend recently asked me for some parenting resources, and I literally went to my bookshelf and pulled off a few favorites. These are parenting books I have read or used over the years. I ask that you use discernment in whether or not they are the best resource for you. Whether you are a parent, a grandparent, a teacher, or a favorite friend, I hope this list will be helpful. It’s divided into 3 sections, and I’ve included Amazon…
Be Honest
Do you know that honest feeling of relief you get when you just tell someone the truth? “Be honest” is one of the few rules I have for my tutoring clients. I’d rather a child tell me they didn’t turn in their homework than lie to me about the teacher losing it. Being honest allows us to get to the heart of the matter, such as lack of motivation or feeling overwhelmed by the amount of overdue work. Honesty is a character trait that we should strive for, but we also need to strive to create relationships that cultivate honest conversations. Being honest is hard work but being known as a person of integrity adds much to your character. We tend to want to hide the truth when things are not going as planned or when we think we will disappoint people. Being honest in a relationship builds trust. Our homes, offices, and classrooms can be spaces where it’s safe to tell the truth. Spaces where we reach out to one another. Where telling the truth is honored and help and hope are offered. Spaces where condemnation and criticism drip from the lips of those in attendance do not value…