Effective Family Communication: How to Keep Everyone on the Same Page

Improve effective family communication in a busy household by using a shared calendar, making time to finish important conversations, and having regular marriage check-ins. Poor communication weakens the family and leads to conflict. Which one of these areas would help improve your effective family communication star rating?

Use a shared family calendar

How to keep everyone on one page is LITERALLY keeping everyone on the same calendar page. Way back in the days of a paper calendar hung in the kitchen, my husband would tell people he had to check the calendar before committing to an event. When our kids were in middle school, we gave them access to my digital Google calendar so they could check the calendar before even asking us permission to attend an outing. My aging mom has access to my calendar so she can schedule doctor appointments when I am available to drive.

When my adult kids call me now it usually starts with “I checked your calendar and saw you didn’t have a client right now.” Knowing what’s on the family calendar can be the first step to effective family communication. It also eliminates some of the back-and-forth conversations of everyone checking separate calendars and waiting for a response.

Certain things always take priority but other things are flexible. When my kids were in college they would ask at the start of a school break for me to tell them which things on the calendar I wanted them to attend so they could schedule other things around those events. I so appreciated this approach and it made family communication and coordinated calendars easier to manage. 

Whether it’s a paper calendar or a digital one, come up with a shared system for adding things and identifying who is attending. This goes for the grocery list as well. It’s good to have a reminder now and then of how this system is supposed to work. Again, for me, I use a digital grocery list that my family has access to. 

If you are just starting these things up, have a family meeting and work out the details. Encourage the others to share suggestions as they might have some great ideas you have not thought about. 

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Make time to finish important conversations

Young parents may find that conversations often get interrupted. One suggestion is to keep a list of “we need to talk about…” on your phone and one of you says “Add this to the list” if you start a conversation but there isn’t time to finish it. Regularly come back to that list and see what unfinished conversations need to be done.

You can start to schedule a few minutes in the morning before the kids get up, time for tea on the couch before dinner, or dessert after the kids go to bed. Kids can learn not to interrupt unless it’s an emergency. Effective family communication starts with making time to communicate and parenting provides families with all sorts of things to talk about. You might even need to set aside some time to finish important conversations with your kids as they grow older. If you suggest making popcorn at bedtime you might have a great conversation at the kitchen table that might not otherwise happen.

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Have marriage check-ins regularly

Marriage check-ins also help keep communication flowing effectively. We recommend to couples we mentor that once or twice a month they set aside an hour of quiet and go through a set list of questions together. This type of communication builds respect and emotional intimacy.

 We know one couple who regularly goes out to breakfast to complete the questions. Another one schedules time for tea together. They prioritize talking through things before they become big issues. A healthy marriage and effective communication go hand in hand. If your marriage is healthy but your family communication is poor, consider scheduling family meetings to work on problem-solving one topic at a time. 

Get marriage check-in questions here. https://tailorjoy.com/6-marriage-check-up-questions/

Poor communication leads to family conflict, ineffective problem-solving, and weakened emotional bonds. Effective family communication solves problems before they arise and makes the family bond stronger. These tips for effective family communication can help bring rhythm and happiness to your home. Up your communication score to ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ by keeping everyone on the same page!

Table Talk: Which one will you implement first? Which one do you already do well?

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